


RESET and RESET

by LainaFantasy



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Murder, References to Undertale Genocide Route, Suicide, Undertale Reset, Undertale repeated RESET
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:59:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LainaFantasy/pseuds/LainaFantasy
Summary: They were so, so tired of this game. Fight, die, RESET. Live, win, RESET. Nothing mattered, and it hadn’t for a long time. No matter what they did, time still RESET. It always RESET.In which they want to be free.





	RESET and RESET

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance. This is not a happy story.
> 
> Please keep in mind that this is not meant to justify or glorify suicide. This story shows _extremely_ extenuating circumstances that no one in reality has to face, and, even then, I am not trying to say that it was okay for them to do this. (Honestly, nothing about this story is okay.)
> 
> I was just... feeling a little numb, so I wrote this to get it all out.
> 
> If you're also feeling a little numb, you just might understand.

They were so, so tired of this game. Fight, die, RESET. Live, win, RESET. Nothing mattered, and it hadn’t for a long time. No matter what they did, time still RESET. It _always_ RESET.

Once, they had been Determined. Once, they had been great. Once, they had saved all monsters and helped them to live peacefully on the Surface.

Once, a friend got seriously hurt, and they shifted time back to the last SAVE to undo it. Once, they found themselves thinking, “That worked. I could do that again.” Once, they found themselves shifting time back for petty things. Once, Sans had finally confronted them about it. Once… they accidentally went back too far, back to the beginning.

Once, they began to see how everything was undoable, even years of being on the Surface. Once, they got too curious. They were too Determined. It was their downfall.

Once, they sold their SOUL.

Once, they tried to fix everything and let everyone be happy, but happiness was now out of reach. Every time they tried, they were undermined. They had no control anymore.

Once, they tried to leave the dust and allow themselves to be alone on the Surface… but time RESET anyway.

And then they stopped trying. They resigned themselves to their fate and stopped fighting.

…

Once, they tried to die. They used the True Knife, and, with swift, deep slashes against arteries – wrists, elbows, legs, anywhere where a blood vessel was visible – they bled out. And time RESET.

They tried the gun. And time RESET.

They tried jumping from a height far, far too high for anyone to survive. And time RESET.

Every time, they tried to let go of their Determination. They tried to die permanently. But…

**RESET**

…there was no escape.

…

Then, boredom overtook them. Then, they began to go through the loop and do things differently – not killing, no, they had done _that_. Instead, they tried to _break people_ down with words and actions. Then, they sharpened their wit to the point where it became deadlier than their knife. Then, they partnered up with Flowey and learned from him. Then, they watched as they figured out how to break everyone.

Alphys was easy. A few unkind words, a couple biting remarks, and the merest hint that they knew what she had done were all it took for her to retreat to the garbage dump, look over the edge into the depths, and jump.

Sans was not much harder. Some taunts, some threats, the _just right_ mixture of words, and… They did not know if he had inflicted damage on himself or just lost all **H** O **P** E and died from having 0 HP. They would never know, for he would never tell them. That was fine. A little mystery was refreshing.

Asgore did not prove too difficult, though he took some time to whittle down, and Flowey had to reveal his old identity to finally push the old man over the edge.

Toriel was only about as difficult as Asgore.

Undyne never went unless Asgore and Alphys were both gone, but, once they were, she was unstable enough that they were able to take her down.

Papyrus was so difficult. No matter what they and Flowey did, Papyrus would never lose hope. He always found some way to see the bright side. It was… refreshing. It was also a challenge, and they were, morbidly, feeling Determined about this. They wanted to succeed.

When they finally did, they felt empty about it. All it did was reinforce for them how awful the world was, seeing that, ultimately, no one was completely immune to darkness.

**_They_** were right. The world **deserved** to be erased. But neither they nor **_they_** could do it anymore. The chance had come and gone.

…

They tried to amuse themselves by dying. They began to feel a thrill in the harsh sensation of pain, for it was all they _could_ really feel anymore. A spear from Undyne through their chest felt exhilarating. Being pierced by bones made them feel alive. Being scorched by fireballs felt glorious.

They felt _sick_.

…

They woke up, day in and day out, RESET after RESET. Every time, they felt even more _tired_ than before. All they wanted was to be free.

Somehow, along the way, their Determination began to fade. That feeling was terrifying at first, but it eventually became their only comfort. One day, they would have too little Determination to survive.

One day, they would be _free_. One day…

…

Finally, the day came when Sans said that he could sense it – their determination was too faded and broken to save them again. If they died, it would be permanent.

For the first time in _years_ , they felt something. Relief, perhaps? They weren’t sure. But they were smiling, _really smiling_ , and they were crying as something inside of them finally released. They looked at Sans with a smile and outstretched arms, dropping the Toy Knife in the snow.

“Sans…” Their voice broke, strained with emotion and weight of their next words, but their smile did not waver and the tears did not stop. “Will you please, please SPARE me?”

The skeleton nodded, having no words and no emotion appropriate for this situation. He raised his arms, and several bones shot through their body.

They stumbled forward and wrapped their arms around him. He sat down, laying them down on his lap, their form hardly smaller than his but looking so, so tiny and weak in that moment, and yet their smile shone brighter than the stars. “ _Thank you, Sans_ ,” they whispered, their voice softer than a breeze.

He nodded and murmured, “thank you, kid.”

Their smile became even brighter, and their last, shaking breath sounded almost like it could have been joyful laughter.

Their SOUL rose in the air, beautiful and shining for a moment.

Then it cracked and _s h a t t e r e d_.

Hardly thinking of what he was doing, Sans teleported to a quiet, out-of-the-way spot in Waterfall with a bench, a quiche, and a single Echo flower. They had always said that this was the one place that never got old for them, so if there was one spot where they should be allowed to rest, it was this one. He laid them on the bench before teleporting home and back to bring them a blanket. He laid it over them, covering their wounds, leaving only their face. Their eyes stared unblinkingly at the crystals in the ceiling, and he didn’t have the heart to close them. The kid had always liked the crystals even better than real stars, after all. He wiped the blood from their mouth, and he could almost convince himself that they were just resting there, smiling up at the crystals.

He buried them the next day, resting under the bench with the quiche to mark their grave. Before he left, he whispered to the Echo flower, "thanks," leaving that behind with them.

They were finally at peace. And so was he. If Toriel found out, there would be hell to pay, but, strangely enough, he had no guilt. He finally felt light.

Another child fell a few years later. Undyne took their SOUL, and Asgore freed everyone. And, as Sans walked onto the surface, he couldn’t help but miss the small child who was usually the one responsible for this moment.

But he did not grieve. They were finally at rest. He and they alike were finally free of the loop. The Underground, now, was free.

Everyone was okay.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was still… it was still okay. And Sans could live with okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that maybe, just maybe, this helped a bit in a roundabout way, or that it at least touched you. Please remember that you're all amazing people who deserve to live and to love and to find your path in life. Never give up.
> 
> And, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me. (I have PM on fanfiction.net here https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6586667/ if you'd like.)
> 
> If you want some comfort, I'd recommend reading Love Yourself, found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7193567/chapters/16326128 I know it says E for the rating, but that's only a couple chapters in a set of one-shots (and I'm at least mostly certain they're marked beforehand -- and nothing is very graphic). It's a great set of short hurt/comfort stories if you're dealing with some problems.
> 
> Just remember that darkness does not last forever and that there's always a reason to keep going.


End file.
